yukarinpop (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
yukarinpop) wrote2013-10-21 09:11 am
yukarinpop) wrote2013-10-21 09:11 am
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The happiness point system
I sat down today and thought about why I'm so down. Happiness is like a point system. You only get 100 points. When something happens that's good, those are plus points. When something bad happens, those are negative points.
Being in Yurisunrise and having fun with my friends and fans- +100 points!
Being kidnapped- -40 points
Being kicked out of YuriSunrise- -60 points
Atobe-san's Island- +40 points
Ku-chan taking me out for my birtday- +20 points
Being rejected by Miyuki-san- -30 points
Ivy-chan dying- -40 points
Current happiness points = -10 points. I'm in the negative. No wonder I feel so down. I'm looking for ways to be happy. I don't want to burden anyone with my sadness...but the things I once loved aren't bringing me joy right now. I feel like I can do very little without wanting to cry. I've tried meditating, therapy, massages, new hobbies....nothing is working. I miss my friends. It hurts that our friendship was just superficial to them, that I never really matter...That I was so easily replaced.
But I'm still holding out hope that this is all leading up to something good. I have to hold on to that hope. Otherwise, I'm only a burden.
Ku-chan...maybe we should hold off on our trip. In fact, I should probably move out. I'm only making myself miserable because I worry that I'm making you miserable.
Being in Yurisunrise and having fun with my friends and fans- +100 points!
Being kidnapped- -40 points
Being kicked out of YuriSunrise- -60 points
Atobe-san's Island- +40 points
Ku-chan taking me out for my birtday- +20 points
Being rejected by Miyuki-san- -30 points
Ivy-chan dying- -40 points
Current happiness points = -10 points. I'm in the negative. No wonder I feel so down. I'm looking for ways to be happy. I don't want to burden anyone with my sadness...but the things I once loved aren't bringing me joy right now. I feel like I can do very little without wanting to cry. I've tried meditating, therapy, massages, new hobbies....nothing is working. I miss my friends. It hurts that our friendship was just superficial to them, that I never really matter...That I was so easily replaced.
But I'm still holding out hope that this is all leading up to something good. I have to hold on to that hope. Otherwise, I'm only a burden.
Ku-chan...maybe we should hold off on our trip. In fact, I should probably move out. I'm only making myself miserable because I worry that I'm making you miserable.
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But all I meant was... it's not a rush to be happy! You should try and find happiness in other things, little things. It's how it worked with me anyway. I never thought I'd be able to smile or laugh again, but I was wrong! And I'm glad I was.
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