It's rather cold

[yukarinpop]

The heat is on, but I feel cold. My eyes burn, and my stomach is twisting. I was a real jerk yesterday. I'm sorry, Tomo-chan. You were only being nice, and I threw it in your face. I'm rather selfish, when it comes down to it. I don't know if I'm able to go to that party you invited me to. I don't think I ever want to meet your Kaede. I'm sure she's lovely...but...

I guess that's the twisted side of me. The selfish brat. The bitch.

I've been so bitter this past week. As Christmas edges forward, I find myself envying everyone around me. I feel everyone just passing me by, bustling around me in pairs. I don't know why I'm so preoccupied with being lonely. It's tearing me apart. I just want to be precious to someone...Which is rather silly, because I know people do hold me dear. I'm just sad I snapped like that, I guess.

Comments

[ryuukou-tomo.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry as well, Yukari-chan. I wasn't being sensitive at all. I'm not very good at being subtle, in the end.....

And don't call yourself that, Yukari-chan. You're just going through a difficult part of life. My mum once said that you should always trust yourself and love yourself, because if you can't love yourself, then who can you love?

[yukarinpop.livejournal.com]

It's okay. You were just being nice.

I should be over it by now. I need to stop acting like this, you know? I don't love myself, I know...but I can love others. It's easy to love others...but isn't it "if you can't love yourself, no one will?"

[ryuukou-tomo.livejournal.com]

It's okay for me as well, because you know, I don't mind too much. If I'm ever too insistent, tell me, okay~?

And no, it's not something that would just leave easily, Yukari-chan. Don't beat yourself up over it! I'm also fairly sure that the phrase doesn't go like that.

[yukarinpop.livejournal.com]

Usually, I like your insistence.

I still shouldn't lash out at my friends.

[ryuukou-tomo.livejournal.com]

Okay, so when I push it, don't hesitate to tell me!

Mmm, you shouldn't. But the fact is, you recognised it's a flaw and that's one step closer to making it better :) And I can take it until you're feeling more like yourself again.

[yukarinpop.livejournal.com]

I won't.

You're right...you're so good to me...

[ryuukou-tomo.livejournal.com]

Not really~ Friends do that sorta thing. ....now I want to hug you, so whenever you're next free, you'd better come and see me, okay?

[yukarinpop.livejournal.com]

I will!